I'm not at all decisive...

After wasting 20 minutes of Vodafone Johns time and having a play with the Blackberry Storm, I then decided I'd actually like the iPhone instead!
The Blackberry was confusing, I couldn't even figure out how to start a text message. The iPhone on the other hand seems so much simpler to use!
I guess this being because the Blackberry is really aimed at business people..not 23 year old nerds who like playing with gadgets, and sending emails to random Japanese people.
After finding out there was a cheaper contract on offer from Vodafone, it actually seems now that the iPhone is the more expensive choice, but I've got my heart set on it now!

Anyway..
here are the latest additions to my toy collection:


Marabel and Daisy from the second series of Kathie Olivas' Scavengers.
I've wanted some of her toys for a while, but I found they were difficult to get hold of.
Now I've got these two, the itch is scratched and I don't mind if I don't get any more...I never wanted the whole collection, just one or two.
Saying that, I still absolutely love the Kathie Olivas Dunny...

but seeing as it's such a rare one, I'm either gonna have to be very lucky with a blind box, or pay somewhere between £25-£40 for it!!
I tried two blind boxes and didn't do well, so I don't think I'll bother again.

I'm not at all good with my money lately (..but was I ever?), I just want to spend spend spend! What will I buy next? Well, I'm after some kawaii Japanese goods...something from SanX or Sanrio I'm thinking. I'm really liking Rilakkuma at the moment...


...kawaii desu ne?!^-^

from a buried heart

Why does it always feel like four walls closing in on me?
No fucking back door, no fucking means of escape!


A boring day at home may lead to an extra miserable me.
Yes, what a crappy day I've had! Don't get me wrong, I like the odd day at home but when planning to head into town then ending up sat on my arse in my room all day...meh, it sucks.
Admittedly, I only really wanted to go and take a look at the damn Blackberry phone that I can't even afford, but judging by the headache I've had for hours, I think I could've done with the fresh air.
Now, it's back to work tomorrow...time to put on my retail smile *sigh*. My shorter hours somehow feel like longer, as the days drag on and on. I know I've said it a million times, but I need a new job. I've been stuck in the same (part time) job for so long, it's just sad. What a pathetic existence! I've done nothing with my life, and I'm going nowhere...
but what can I really say? I know it's my own fault.
I need someone to pick me up and shake me! Someone who can push me in the right direction atleast. I need motivation, guidance and support.
But where on earth am I going to find that? I just haven't got a clue!

sounds like the end of the world

Money sucks.

I'll never have the finer things in life. I can't even afford to have a nice mobile phone..
I really want the blackberry storm, it looks brilliant! But, £40 a month, plus insurance...I think I'd be pushing it a little.

I just know that if I go out on a limb and go for it, something is bound to come up that's gonna mean I need more money, which I won't have if I'm forking out over £10 a week on a contract!
It's not like I can get out of it at a pinch either, I'll be tied to it for a year and a half, or get a whopping great charge if I cancel!


Anyway, other than that..I'm feeling stressed and I don't know why.
This was just a short rant, I have nothing interesting to talk about.

nightmares and fairytales

I keep having weird dreams and I wish they'd go away. Featuring the most random set of people, I think I know the meaning but I'd rather just forget it. Pushing thoughts to the back of my mind has become a habit lately, but now it seems they're pushing their way out again, haunting me in my sleep. If I go to bed now, will I wake up to it again in the morning? Or maybe now I've been thinking so much, I won't sleep at all. This is all gibberish...I don't feel like I can write down how I'm really feeling, nor can I tell anybody. For now, I'll just continue to push everything as deep down as I can, and wait for the night it plagues my dreams some more!

everything that creeps

Elizabeth McGrath is a fantastic, unique artist. I finally got her book 'Everything That Creeps' for christmas and now I want more! Unfortunately, there's nothing available in the UK, but her website now includes a shop, in which I've discovered these great little butchers knives!





I can't quite decide which I like best, but both are hand painted and come in a hand sketched gift box! Amazing!! I'm in love, and at only $25 each, they're so reasonably priced for what is essentially a piece of original artwork. The closest thing I own to original artwork is a doodle on the inside of a Brian Ewing book I bought a few years back.
However, after the mishap with indiemerch, I vowed never to order from the US again. The mishap I refer to being the massive customs charge stuck on top of the already extortionate amount I'd paid for two tshirts in the first place.
One knife, plus postage to the UK would cost around £30, which for an original piece, in my opinion isn't really isn't bad! Still, it's a stretch for me and honestly, a lot more than I should be spending right now, especially as my hours have been cut. For that reason is it worth taking the risk? A whopping great customs charge could push the total up to somewhere closer to £50, which for me is just too high a price to pay. Sorry Elizabeth! It's not that I don't think these are worth it, not in the slighest! It's just I can't afford that, not right now, and probably not for a long time to come.

crappy poo year