blessed be this nightmare

pessimism

2010-06-03T20:28:00.005+01:00

A tendency to stress the negative or unfavourable or to take the gloomiest possible view.

When something positive happens to me, maybe I won't be such a pessimist!

I never wanted to say this.
You never wanted to stay, well did you?
I put my faith in you, so much faith
and then you just threw it away.

chelsea smile

2010-05-10T19:50:00.006+01:00

I may look happy but honestly dear, the only way I'll really smile is if you cut me ear to ear!

Having time off work is nice, but it would be better if I had someone to spend it with.
I'm so tired of having no one, but it's not going to change unless I get out of here.
Of course, I'm not going to get out of here, so I'll continue being alone!

it was written in blood

2010-05-09T00:18:00.002+01:00

Dear (anonymous).
It's been five months since we met, four months since you left and two weeks since we talked.
You should know, now I can hardly bear to think of you.
Yours, but not forever,
(anonymous).

tell me so

2010-04-26T15:10:00.005+01:00

The last time you smiled,

well it's been quite a while,
and you're not sure what you smiled for
and the first time you lied,
well I felt like I died,
now it just feels like every other night.

So, I'd say today's weather is quintessentially British!

This morning, as I walked in to town, I felt myself burning up.
As I wandered around some shops, I could see it clouding over.
Then, when I eventually headed home, it started to pour with rain.
Now I'm back and the sun is out again!

I needed to cheer myself up today, so saving was put temporarily on hold.
Luckily, there's a few mid season sales so I managed to buy some underwear and shoes for less than £20!
There was plenty more I wanted, but it seemed everything I picked up was a size too big or a size too small.
I really wanted to eat Thai noodles for lunch and decided I could face going in alone...
only to find out, they close on Mondays!
So, I bought a snack pack of sushi from Marks and Spencers.
I have to say, surprisingly it wasn't as nice as sushi from Tesco or Sainsburys!
Still, it was good and I felt a little better after eating it.

Now, I have nothing particular to do for the remainder of my time off.
I'm getting pretty tired of this lack of activity.
The only excitement in my life is in my dreams...
it's about time reality improved before I decide not to bother waking up again.

*update*
On a much lighter note, today I had a new arrival to my Japanese toy collection.

A yurakoro, or manekineko.
He mews, chimes and speaks Japanese!
"いいことあるにゃん！"
かわいいですね？？

do you want the truth or something beautiful?

2010-04-20T14:40:00.004+01:00

Sunday April 18th.
Walking along the seafront with my camera, I could almost understand why people holiday in Great Yarmouth.
This time of year, everything looks far more beautiful.

However, no amount of sunshine can detract from the fact that this town is completely backwards.
I wish I could leave.

the world's a better place when it's upside down

2010-04-02T18:32:00.003+01:00

It's Good Friday, meaning a day off work. Lovely!
As I've been exhausted lately, I decided a lay in and a little baking would be sufficient for today.
Of course, usually I hate to be stuck at home all day.
However, despite a few hiccups, baking was nice.
I made chocolate chip cupcakes with melted chocolate on top and some vanilla biscuits.
Unfortunately, the biscuits aren't particularly attractive but they taste pretty good.
The cakes are delicious!
Sadly, I have to work tomorrow and I expect it to be ridiculously busy.
For some reason which is far beyond me, people seem to be staying in this awful town over Easter.
So, the shop will be filled with delightful children and the sound of eloquent Northern accents..
God, help me!

cookie bunny

2010-03-09T16:09:00.003Z

A cookie loving bunny??
He should belong to me!

Thanks for putting a smile on my face little fella ;D

2010, already two months in!

2010-02-28T15:11:00.009Z

Well, it's certainly been a long time since I posted anything on here.
I guess I haven't really felt like documenting my life lately.
Things have been quite up and down but I'm determined not to let things get as bad as last year.

I've finally started a Japanese class, although right now I'm feeling a little apprehensive about it.
It's been a long time since I sat in a class surrounded by complete strangers and I didn't feel comfortable about it at all, but I know it's something I need to stick at.
I guess it was just a little reminder of how difficult it was to make friends when I started college for the first time, and how unhappy it made me.
I've never been one for making friends easily, especially when it's a group of people I wouldn't usually associate with for whatever reason.
I'm sure I'll settle in eventually, it'll just take me a while.

I've had to stop spending so much because I figured it's about time I start saving.
So, no more cute stationery or random 'kawaii' items from Japan.
Of course, my penpalling and parcel sending won't stop because it's something I really enjoy.
It makes me feel quite content at times.
It's certainly difficult to resist shopping, especially when some weeks it feels like the only thing that'll make me happy.
I guess it's quite fortunate that there are so few decent shops in this town, but that also means I find myself getting very bored on my days off work.
There's so little to do here, and absolutely nothing that doesn't involve spending money!
Still, I have things that can keep me occupied to an extent...sewing, drawing, studying but sometimes, I just need to get out of the house.
These days, I tend to just head into town alone because at least I'm getting some air.
I can't bare being stuck indoors, alone!

After 24 years, I've finally began learning to cook.
I've made cookies, cakes, lasagne, spaghetti and meatballs and omelette.
Nothing incredibly complicated of course, but still pretty amazing for 'can't cook, won't cook' me.
My latest creation, with the help of my friend, Aaron, was chocolate cupcakes with melted chocolate inside.
Served warm, we decided to eat them with icecream.
Absolutely delicious!

We also gave Eton mess a go, such a bizarre name, but my god it was amazing!
I think I'll be making that again. So simple, yet so delicious.

Aaron had a little Japanese okashi set, which involves making up some pink and white icing type stuff and squeezing it into mini icecream cones.
It was pretty fun, but I have to admit it tasted a little strange!

and how could I resist posting a photo of Aaron's sisters pug, Dolce.
Adorable!
So, I've got a new dream but I think it's going to be a difficult one to realise.
I've had it in my head for a while, but recently it's become stronger....
I want to be a tattooist!
I'm not entirely sure how to go about doing this, other than an apprenticeship, but I hear this are very hard to come by.
I figure, all I can do for now is practice drawing and get a portfolio together.
I started off well, with plenty of ambition and motivation but as usual I find it hard to keep it going.
I become disheartened too easily.
Of course, I'll draw again soon but with this on top of studying and my need for regular 'chill out' time just to calm down after a crap day at work, I guess it'll take longer to get a portfolio together than I'd originally imagined.

Still, I guess I've got plenty of hopes and dreams right now and certainly more drive than I had last year.
I just hope this time, maybe one of my dreams can come true.

Remember those walls I built?
Well, baby they're tumbling down,
And they didn't even put up a fight,
They didn't even make up a sound.

I found a way to let you in,
But I never really had a doubt.
Standing in the light of your halo,
I got my angel now.

It's like I've been awakened.
Every rule I had you breakin'.
It's the risk that I'm takin'.
I ain't never gonna shut you out.

Everywhere I'm looking now,
I'm surrounded by your embrace.
Baby I can see your halo.
You know you're my saving grace.

You're everything I need and more,
It's written all over your face.
Baby I can feel your halo,
Pray it won't fade away.

I can feel your halo halo halo.

Hit me like a ray of sun,
Burning through my darkest night.
You're the only one that I want.
Think I'm addicted to your light.

I swore I'd never fall again,
But this don't even feel like falling!
Gravity can't forget,
To pull me back to the ground again.

Feels like I've been awakened.
Every rule I had you breakin'.
The risk that I'm takin'.
I'm never gonna shut you out.

Everywhere I'm looking now,
I'm surrounded by your embrace.
Baby I can see your halo.
You know you're my saving grace.

You're everything I need and more,
It's written all over your face.
Baby I can feel your halo,
Pray it won't fade away.

Crappy day

2009-05-25T23:33:00.008+01:00

I'm learning that you get nowhere by being nice.
Being arrogant, selfish, obnoxious and generally acting like a complete arse seems to bring popularity and success. Yay!
I'm sick of being talked down to, I try to be polite and look out for others and what do I get in return?

I have nothing interesting to write about. Things are crap right now, on so many levels.
I need a break, an escape...but there's nowhere to go.
I'm stuck in a rut and I can't get out!
Help.

Pushing Daisies

2009-05-03T17:54:00.003+01:00

Gone forever..and I can't help but feel like the ending was a bit of a cop out!
Of course, it wasn't their fault... as far as I'm aware, the final episode had to be edited at the last minute to be less of a 'cliffhanger' but still, why the hell did it have to be canceled in the first place?!
So many unanswered questions, I feel a little let down...and I'm certainly going to miss the pie maker.
I read there's talks about a comic book or a movie but I get the feeling talking about it is as far as it will get.
Why do all the good shows get canceled when there's still so much garbage on tv?!

GOFF

2009-05-01T18:34:00.005+01:00

It's nice to finally chill, sitting here in my leggings, an oversized band tee and big hello kitty socks, munching on some rather delicious berry Pocky. My day has been mega stressful, there was so much to do which wasn't helped by the unusually large amount of customers wandering around.
Just to add to my stress is this awful weather!!
When I say awful, I am referring to what everyone else thinks is glorious!
All I've heard all day is how wonderful the sunshine is.
The sun gives me headaches and the heat makes me feel like I'm going to faint.
Besides, what's great about feeling hot, stuffy and sweaty?
I say...bring on the rain!
If I'm finding this unbearable already, how on earth am I going to cope with the summer?!
I think I should immigrate to the North Pole!

ever the optimist

2009-04-15T21:39:00.002+01:00

It's spring! ...but I'm not feeling very spring like.
Work is a little tiring, but at least it's getting me out of the house.
My only activity...
I'm so bored, tonight, this week, all the time. With this town, with my life, with everything!
I wish things could be easier, simpler but I can't change the way I feel, nor can I suddenly become this different person.
My only joy, to spend money...but as my computer crashes on me again, taking at least 15 minutes to sort itself out, I realise I need to stop spending and to start saving more. I can see I need a new laptop for one thing, then of course there's the new phone...and maybe the chance to get out of this humdrum town, even if just for a little while.
It's not going to happen though, when do I ever do anything different?
I'll just float on through life, as usual, hoping something good might happen for a change, something to make life that little bit nicer...
but it won't.
It never does.

happy birthday..

2009-03-20T12:44:00.004Z

to me.
Sitting at home alone, waiting for an unknown parcel to be delivered.
I've been awake since 7am, wondering whether I'd be stuck in all day or not...
and so far, the answer is yes!!
Possibly time for my third tea, maybe a sandwich.
How exciting, feels like any old day, except for the presents this morning.

To add to my birthday dismay, my attempt to make cupcakes was a disaster.
Being an idiot, I wrote down the icing recipe wrong...added two table spoons of water (should have been tea spoons) and a little too much red food colouring, so now my potentially adorable, yummy cupcakes have turned into scary, runny blood cakes ¬-¬
They taste nice, but how disheartening the whole thing was.
I don't know if I'll attempt baking again.

On another note, I've got a bit of an urge to buy jewellery!
I'm so sick of wearing the same old things and I want something a little bit different, a bit funky!
I've discovered 'Tatty Devine'
For the most part, it's a little expensive for me...especially this amazing necklace:
at a breathtaking £96!!!
However, I've seen this:and at £22, it's a little more my price range.
Would I wear it though?

monster

2009-03-03T14:14:00.002Z

dozo yoroshiku

2009-02-24T10:19:00.004Z

Yesterday, I met Rui! A 24 year Japanese girl. She's visiting her sister in the UK, staying with her in Reading and came all the way to Norwich to see me! :)
It was hard for me to find interesting things to show her, but I certainly gave it a go!
We walked around Norwich cathedral, it being my first time there too which is terrible considering I've lived here all my life. It was gorgeous inside, really peaceful but unfortunately you needed a permit to take pictures.
We planned to have tea and home made cake, but how typical, the cafe was closed for that day only, for refurbishment! So, instead we had a huge pot of tea and a scone in House of Fraser..how posh! It was a good scone, but no cream! :(
We did a little bit of shopping, I bought lots of stickers from Paperchase plus a cupcake keyring and postcard for Rui (to go with the cupcake brooch I made her^^). We had a look around H&M and Topshop, it was funny, we were both eyeing up the same jacket in H&M. We didn't buy it though, infact amazingly I didn't buy any clothes! I wanted to but we had such a short amount of time, I didn't want to spend it dragging her around while I look for things to waste money on. I can do that myself another day, this day was supposed to be about her, and showing her around the city.
We did find a couple of cute shops in the mall, one being a proper little tea and coffee shop. I prompted her to buy some Norfolk blend tea, I figured it was a nice souvenier for her trip here :) I was intrigued by some Japanese green cherry tea, so I bought it, knowing I'd probably hate it...I don't think I made it properly but it actually wasn't bad! I bought mum some toffee cappucino coffee too, yum.
We made our way up to Norwich castle, but couldn't go inside without forking out a load of money...so we wandered around outside for a bit then headed back into the city for fishcake and chips! (not quite the proper fish and chips I'd promised, but the fish was HUGE, there was no way this tiny lady could fit all of that in!)
We had a little bit of time left, we found an old fashioned sweety shop, so I introduced her to the deliciousness of fudge! I showed her 'Arcadia Gifts' to give her an idea of the kind of place I work (although, it seems pretty different now), then finally I asked her if she knew the word kitsch as we headed into 'Knotty Green' - she didn't and after my garbled explanation, she probably still doesn't! However, she loved the shop :) as do I.
We wandered back to the station, chatting a little about if she would come back. Hopefully she will, but I'm sure it won't be for a long time, if at all.
Our trains were similar times, which was lucky, obviously I wouldn't get on mine until she had got hers, but I also didn't feel like waiting at the cold station alone for too long.
We said goodbye, I was sad to see her go...she ran off to her train then I hopped onto mine and that was that...back to the real world!
I want more days like this! Despite the horrible feeling in my stomach as I sat on the train that morning, the lack of sleep the night before and the occasional embarrassment when we didn't quite understand each other, it was a lovely day, I had a nice time!
It was just a shame I was in such a rush that morning, I forgot my camera! Rui had hers however, so hopefully I'll get to see a few photographs soon.

gloomy

2009-02-10T09:03:00.005Z

Just past 9am, I've been up for over an hour!!
I wouldn't be able to get up this early if I actually had work, hah.
Everyone in my house is up..it's bizarre.
No sugar though, so my first tea of the day was probably my only tea of the day!

It's horrible outside, so windy and rainy. I'll have to walk to work in that tomorrow...greaatttt.
Today, I'm staying indoors though..in the warm.

A big £33 order I've been waiting for for 2 weeks is finally ready to be sent, only to find out that the main thing I wanted isn't even in stock! =-=
I don't particularly want any of it, I've waited so long that it's completely lost it's novelty and I'd just prefer to have my money back.
I'm pretty sure I can find just as nice stuff for less money somewhere else.
I'm so frustrated..it's been 2 weeks!! ...and I bet she won't let me completely cancel the order.

On another note, I'm waiting for some stuff from strapya world.
It's coming all the way from Japan, so may take a while...but still, probably quicker than my order from this other website! =-=
I've ordered a 'steamed bean jam bun' ...I don't even know what one is it but it's so cute, I had to get it (*^-^*)

Lazy sunday..

2009-02-01T14:46:00.004Z

Back to the future is on tv, it's freezing outside...snowing on and off.
So hungry, I want to snack on chocolates and yummy biscuits but I won't...
maybe a piece of fudge or two :P or a chocolate covered rice cracker!^-^

I'm supposed to be saving up for an iPhone...need £350! :/
So far, I've spent £20 instead... o_o and probably more to come.
I've got a new bed (much to my dismay as it fills up my room), and I want a huge plush for it. Something super kawaii like Hello Kitty, Rilakkuma or Stitch!

or even this amazing thing that I discovered randomly on google images:

Absolutely brilliant!

I'm not at all decisive...

2009-01-26T20:58:00.005Z

After wasting 20 minutes of Vodafone Johns time and having a play with the Blackberry Storm, I then decided I'd actually like the iPhone instead!
The Blackberry was confusing, I couldn't even figure out how to start a text message. The iPhone on the other hand seems so much simpler to use!
I guess this being because the Blackberry is really aimed at business people..not 23 year old nerds who like playing with gadgets, and sending emails to random Japanese people.
After finding out there was a cheaper contract on offer from Vodafone, it actually seems now that the iPhone is the more expensive choice, but I've got my heart set on it now!

Anyway..
here are the latest additions to my toy collection:

Marabel and Daisy from the second series of Kathie Olivas' Scavengers.
I've wanted some of her toys for a while, but I found they were difficult to get hold of.
Now I've got these two, the itch is scratched and I don't mind if I don't get any more...I never wanted the whole collection, just one or two.
Saying that, I still absolutely love the Kathie Olivas Dunny...

but seeing as it's such a rare one, I'm either gonna have to be very lucky with a blind box, or pay somewhere between £25-£40 for it!!
I tried two blind boxes and didn't do well, so I don't think I'll bother again.

I'm not at all good with my money lately (..but was I ever?), I just want to spend spend spend! What will I buy next? Well, I'm after some kawaii Japanese goods...something from SanX or Sanrio I'm thinking. I'm really liking Rilakkuma at the moment...

...kawaii desu ne?!^-^

from a buried heart

2009-01-20T20:22:00.008Z

Why does it always feel like four walls closing in on me?
No fucking back door, no fucking means of escape!

A boring day at home may lead to an extra miserable me.
Yes, what a crappy day I've had! Don't get me wrong, I like the odd day at home but when planning to head into town then ending up sat on my arse in my room all day...meh, it sucks.
Admittedly, I only really wanted to go and take a look at the damn Blackberry phone that I can't even afford, but judging by the headache I've had for hours, I think I could've done with the fresh air.
Now, it's back to work tomorrow...time to put on my retail smile *sigh*. My shorter hours somehow feel like longer, as the days drag on and on. I know I've said it a million times, but I need a new job. I've been stuck in the same (part time) job for so long, it's just sad. What a pathetic existence! I've done nothing with my life, and I'm going nowhere...
but what can I really say? I know it's my own fault.
I need someone to pick me up and shake me! Someone who can push me in the right direction atleast. I need motivation, guidance and support.
But where on earth am I going to find that? I just haven't got a clue!

sounds like the end of the world

2009-01-19T21:32:00.004Z

Money sucks.

I'll never have the finer things in life. I can't even afford to have a nice mobile phone..
I really want the blackberry storm, it looks brilliant! But, £40 a month, plus insurance...I think I'd be pushing it a little.

I just know that if I go out on a limb and go for it, something is bound to come up that's gonna mean I need more money, which I won't have if I'm forking out over £10 a week on a contract!
It's not like I can get out of it at a pinch either, I'll be tied to it for a year and a half, or get a whopping great charge if I cancel!

Anyway, other than that..I'm feeling stressed and I don't know why.
This was just a short rant, I have nothing interesting to talk about.

nightmares and fairytales

2009-01-13T00:13:00.005Z

I keep having weird dreams and I wish they'd go away. Featuring the most random set of people, I think I know the meaning but I'd rather just forget it. Pushing thoughts to the back of my mind has become a habit lately, but now it seems they're pushing their way out again, haunting me in my sleep. If I go to bed now, will I wake up to it again in the morning? Or maybe now I've been thinking so much, I won't sleep at all. This is all gibberish...I don't feel like I can write down how I'm really feeling, nor can I tell anybody. For now, I'll just continue to push everything as deep down as I can, and wait for the night it plagues my dreams some more!

everything that creeps

2009-01-04T14:27:00.005Z

Elizabeth McGrath is a fantastic, unique artist. I finally got her book 'Everything That Creeps' for christmas and now I want more! Unfortunately, there's nothing available in the UK, but her website now includes a shop, in which I've discovered these great little butchers knives!

I can't quite decide which I like best, but both are hand painted and come in a hand sketched gift box! Amazing!! I'm in love, and at only $25 each, they're so reasonably priced for what is essentially a piece of original artwork. The closest thing I own to original artwork is a doodle on the inside of a Brian Ewing book I bought a few years back.
However, after the mishap with indiemerch, I vowed never to order from the US again. The mishap I refer to being the massive customs charge stuck on top of the already extortionate amount I'd paid for two tshirts in the first place.
One knife, plus postage to the UK would cost around £30, which for an original piece, in my opinion isn't really isn't bad! Still, it's a stretch for me and honestly, a lot more than I should be spending right now, especially as my hours have been cut. For that reason is it worth taking the risk? A whopping great customs charge could push the total up to somewhere closer to £50, which for me is just too high a price to pay. Sorry Elizabeth! It's not that I don't think these are worth it, not in the slighest! It's just I can't afford that, not right now, and probably not for a long time to come.

crappy poo year

2009-01-01T00:15:00.001Z

the dead walk

2008-12-09T16:53:00.005Z

I wrote a long, depressing blog but what's the point? I'm not going to feel any better for broadcasting it. I'll just keep my thoughts to myself as usual, because in the end, I never gain anything from speaking my mind.
The only thing that makes me feel better these days is a bit of retail therapy but unfortunately, that has been halted as these days I need money for important things like food and household items, rather than unnecessary crap like stickers, toys, stationary and clothes.

yuki

2008-11-25T18:19:00.002Z

Hmm, a two week headache, not nice!

Starbucks today though, mmm.
Now, I've been twice since it's opened here. I think that's enough for a few days. I don't want to ruin the magic, lol :P

I'm tired, as I have been for about a week. I could easily fall asleep right now!
Don't wanna work tomorrow, it was quiet when I popped in at around 2, but I'm sure as tomorrow's the ever joyful market day, it'll be packed as usual!

We've had snow! ...in November!

I'm not a particular fan of snow, it's cold and sludgy...but it looks kinda pretty.
It's gone already now, infact today was super sunny.
Annoying >-<

Ok, that's all.

I hope you like it as much as getting your face busted in with a hammer.

2008-11-20T18:53:00.005Z

I need a job in which I can be in a room, on my own, for most of the day. Maybe office work of some kind...but definitely no more retail work. I cannot tolerate people who treat me like I'm some kind of moron, which I certainly know I am not! I think it's perfectly acceptable to not know every little detail of every item we sell in a shop with such a massive range, but it seems stupid cows who look like they've just stepped out of 1993 may not agree with me. I'm miserable, this job is just chipping away at me and any feeling of self worth I may have, I feel like a zombie. I'm expected to put on my 'retail smile', to be false and super polite to every customer that walks through the door, but I'm afraid that's just not me, I have always prided myself on not being fake! "The customer is always right!" - It's that bullshit that gives these idiots the 'excuse' to treat shop workers like complete crap and there's only so much I can take. Someone a little rude or blunt I can deal with to a certain degree but someone who's going to make sarcastic remarks about me and look down on me from high up on their pedestal can just fuck off as far as I'm concerned. I don't give a shit how much they're planning to spend! They don't know me, they just make their petty judgments based on my appearance or having spoken to me for half a minute. How fucking dare they?! Why should I let them think they can talk to me like I'm a complete twat then carry on their pathetic little lives? Obviously, it's not my shop and I'm not the one worrying about paying the bills but I am not prepared to roll over and be treated like something those evil, whiny bastards just stepped in and if it comes down to it, I'll be going on the dole.

/rant.

Whoa! Shut it down.

2008-11-18T20:35:00.003Z

Third attempt at writing this damn thing! Grr.
Stupid HTML @_@

So, today has been boring! Infact, this month. This year even..?
I went into town alone, hoping to get some more Christmas presents but seemed to spend tons of money on practically nothing. Meh.
Yarmouth isn't a great place for shopping, especially if you want something a little different.
SO much I could buy online, but it all adds up, so I'm trying to refrain for now.

I've found the most adorable website:
It's reminded me of one of the few things I enjoyed in London.
The gigantic Topshop on Oxford Street had a whole section of this stuff. Why didn't I buy any?!
Anyway, so much I'd love to buy but I'm not sure I should.
Anyone want to treat me? ;D

I've just spent £5 on a roll of tape! :|
It's pretty, but so expensive. I'm not sure what possessed me!
The only consolation is I won't use up so much of my Nightmare Before Christmas tape.
It's just a shame I didn't buy the Stitch tape when they had it...and when the dollar wasn't worth so much! >_<

I looked forward to having a caramel hot chocolate at Starbucks today, but it's not even open yet! What a disappointment...a latte in Sainsburys had to do, hah. Who knows when it's opening then, and when is Primark coming?!
Personally I'm waiting for the day they finally bring in a H&M. I'd love it!

Eurgh, work tomorrow. I don't wanna go. It's getting mega busy now thanks to Christmas, and customers are just evil! :(
Anyway, my emails are stacking up, so I guess I should reply to some before attempting to get an early night.

Peace

2008-11-03T17:13:00.003Z

Bye Bye.

...

2008-10-06T00:57:00.004+01:00

About an hour after I originally went to bed, I'm back online.
I was tired when I got in bed, now I'm not.
I don't think I've felt this crappy in a while. I guess, as usual, everything's happening at once...

Take with lots of alcohol

2008-10-05T17:13:00.003+01:00

Hello, what the hell am I doing here?
That's a really nice suit
This is a really comfortable chair
See I don't know if you can help me or not
Cause I don't feel sick
But the pains in my head have almost put me underground
I don't really care if I'm healthy or not
Just clean my head up doc
I'll give you anything you want
See I don't know why I don't fall in love
Well maybe I know why and maybe you could make it stop
Then we'll cut it up and bury it and leave it underground
And I'll take to wishing and fall under
Sleeping safe and sound
Just give me medicine prescribe me anything
Just knock me out and walk me through the door
I have no desire to see through my own eyes anymore
Hello, what the hell are you doing here?
You made a really strange face
This is a really uncomfortable air
I see I'm boring you, maybe I bore myself too
That's why I need help, I'm cleaning blood off dusty shelves
I been cut up in this room so many times it might take days
And those stress cracks in the wood
How nicely they soak up the stains
Been telling myself these jokes for so long well so long
I'm a has been who is heckled on the stage

oishii desu ne

2008-10-01T18:45:00.005+01:00

Is it me, or is Brad Pitt looking old in his new movie? Maybe having all those kids is taking it's toll!

Anyway, it's October and I can't believe the sudden change in weather!
It's freezing!
I got soaked walking home, it was too windy for my umbrella.

I'm ashamed to say I've ordered a couple of christmas presents. I had to do it, it was in the sale!

I'm starting pretty late compared to alot of customers at work. They've been buying for months..some are almost finished!
I've got so much to get, I think it's best I start now and maybe stop spending so much on myself.

New Heroes starts tonight!! :]

Lovely Mika sent me some yummy chocolate and biscuits!^^
I've eaten so much of it already and I only received the package last night.
Meiji Fran Whipps - White chocolate and caramel.
Pocky Dessert - Hazelnut
Sascha Chocolate x2 - Chocolate and Strawberry

Yummmmm!
She also sent me some adorable Mickey and Minnie skull keyrings from Disneyland XD
In return I'll send her some snacks and a pirate devil ducky!!

complain complain

2008-09-23T23:23:00.003+01:00

I am a complainer ><

I wish I had a talent -____-

*Kukula*

blah

2008-09-20T21:11:00.002+01:00

I'll sit here bored, as usual.

Ordered new boots, not half as nice as I expected.
Finally found Rimmel perfect plum nail polish...it's ugly!
Haven't learnt a word of Japanese in WEEKS!!
Can't do graphics, my mind goes blank.

Argh@!?£%&$!!

hands of a killer

2008-08-28T21:05:00.004+01:00

I'm getting sick of these extra hours already. Don't get me wrong, the extra money is great and I realise I can't go through life only working 2-3 days a week, but this is horrible! I'm tired! I can't just relax at night, I have to worry about what I'm going to wear the next day, get my lunch ready and think about getting to bed early! ><
Then of course there's the customers, they seem to think we get paid (minimum wage!!) to be treated like crap and pick up after them and their hideous children! I think not!

in need of a loving home

2008-08-04T23:51:00.005+01:00

This is for sale..

I will also make custom brooches if anyone is interested.
Alot of what I have already made can be seen on my flickr

Go away sun!

2008-07-29T16:31:00.004+01:00

Seriously, I hate the summer. Bring back spring..we only had about a day of it!
>_<

demolisher

2008-07-27T23:51:00.006+01:00

My name in Korean! n_n
I have very little to write on this thing lately..I guess I haven't been up to much.
I did go to the sealife centre last week, that was good.
I've been working in the terrible heat...bring on the autumn!
and today, I went to see my nanny.

Oh, and bought chocolate XD
Yum!

I haven't made anything, designed anything or took any worthwhile photographs.
I guess you could say I've been very lazy indeed.
I also haven't learnt any new Japanese in a while..but I guess it's easy to become disheartened when you've got someone banging on about how much they know it all!

One thing I have been doing is wasting money!
I think I've got a bit addicted to online shopping again. It's just so easy!

maybe not worth what I paid for it, but such a cool little thing!

Awesome!

Next, if I can bring myself to spend the money, I think it has to be a Gloomy Bear!

I want one so bad! >_<

-______-

2008-07-26T23:57:00.002+01:00

I must remember not to watch scary movies alone! -____-

^_____^

2008-07-19T21:55:00.003+01:00

Well I liked it....Dave! :P

Who's leading you now?

2008-07-14T19:54:00.002+01:00

Anyone who says the 2nd season of Heroes is boring is an idiot. Throughout most of the episodes I've had butterflies in my stomach, anticipating what's going to happen next. I've gasped and shouted at the screen and generally just really enjoyed watching it. Infact, I've got episode left to watch and can't bring myself to do it, because I don't want it to end! It really is a shame about the strike, I easily could have watched another 11 episodes! Bring on season 3!!

I'm not well at the moment. I felt funny friday night, then woke up saturday morning with a bunged up head! :| Decongestants don't seem to be doing much, and my damn throat is getting on my nerves. I can barely eat, it makes me feel sick. I feel so crap, even the thought of tea makes my stomach turn!

Bah, I'm bored. Everyone is busy, so I'm stuck at home on my own.

Today..

2008-06-18T23:04:00.002+01:00

amari yoku nai desu

watashi wa zombie desu

2008-06-17T19:55:00.004+01:00

I've had a break and now it's back to normal. It's been nice to be away, all be it only 20 miles down the road but a good shopping trip and some peace has been good. So, it's back to work tomorrow after a week off, can't say I'm looking forward to it but it's got to be done! I was sad enough to actually dream about work while I was away..oh dear! I guess it stemmed from my hope to get there and find my display ideas worked out well!

I've been making bits and bobs, some brooches and keyrings. Some of them went a little wrong, but practice makes perfect! I really need to get into this and attempt to sell some. So far, everything I've made have been gifts. Who knows how much I could get for them anyway but I guess it'll be a case of trial and error!
I don't think customising bags will be something I want to do often, Mikas bag is finished but it wasn't easy. I'm pretty pleased with it though, it looks good and I really hope it gets to her safely and fast!

Cat charm for Mika:

Bag for Mika:
Spud magnet for Ryuji:More to come...

TV sucks tonight! I was all ready to sit and watch Eastenders to find that, yet again, it's been replaced by crappy football! Argh!
Maybe I will have a bath soon! ...or watch Semi-Pro! XD

we're dead at every turn

2008-06-05T23:14:00.002+01:00

A zombified closed community,
a brainwashed breed of hypocrisy.

I'm sick and tired of backstabbing, selfish bastards!
I think Jamie was right when he said everyone in this town is full of shit!
Obviously there are a select few decent folk out there, but the majority of people can just fuck off forever as far as I'm concerned!
These people are just out for themselves, who gives a fuck about who gets hurt along the way eh?
I can't be bothered with it anymore, I need a break!
Unfortunately, my one chance for a break has been dashed by transport troubles! If only I could drive..or owned my own private jet?!!

stuff

2008-06-01T23:16:00.003+01:00

What's with cosplay? I'd never thought much about it before but I think Japanese should be the only people allowed to do it! I've seen pictures of a bunch of German and American kids dressed up like game/anime characters and they look ridiculous wearing stupid wigs and oversized clothes. Not a good look really!

I don't think I'll be ordering anything from America again. My tshirts finally arrived after about 3 weeks, and I was gutted to find that one of them was three sizes too big! The mummy one is pretty cool, but it looks kinda cheap! Rockett generally costs a fortune, so it should be good quality really!
I won a new tshirt on ebay! Woo! I didn't think I'd win it as someone kept out bidding me but I got it, and for ridiculously cheap! But, for that, I'm expecting there to be something wrong with it!! I guess I'll find out in a few days.

Pushing Daisies has finished already! :( I could watch it every week! But only 9 episodes unfortunately..and I imagine a long wait until the next series.

There is a super cheesey movie on channel 4..I think I'm gonna barf! Haha!

I finally customised my bag :)

I'm pretty happy with it despite the terrible sewing and wonky bow! Haha. Atleast it's unique I guess. Next I'm going to customise one for Mika...and the theme, of course, will be cats! I'm quite enjoying this customising/sewing thing. It's a shame I'm not so good at it!

yatta!

2008-05-20T21:26:00.008+01:00

Well, today I was greeted with an attack of the migraine. Good stuff! I still feel pretty sick, so shortly I'm gonna go soak in the bath ....probably for all of 15 minutes, as I tend to get bored pretty quick!

Jamie has got me back into Heroes. Wow! I forgot how good it is!! :)
Hiro is best!

Also, I'm liking Pushing Daisies, it's so very Tim Burtonesque! But not at all in a way where he's being ripped off just more like the people behind it have been totally inspired by him...it's nice! :)

I'm still waiting for my tshirts! How can a parcel from Japan or China take less than a week, yet one from America seems to take forever?!!

Oh, I want a gloomy bear now! They seem to be pretty expensive :|
I found one for about £7 (£10 inc. postage), but it's only 13cm tall...hmm.

from a buried heart

2008-05-13T18:22:00.003+01:00

Hm, things have got a little wierd lately. Nothing's changed..except for maybe me.
I'm bored, but too lazy to do anything about it. So, I know it's all my fault.
I've let myself get sucked into a fantasy world...thriving on the attention I'd got used to doing without!
That's not life though is it?! Maybe it's about time I grew up and got on with things.
Unfortunately, I'm just a dreamer..

tap tap

2008-05-05T13:18:00.001+01:00

konnichiwa

2008-04-23T20:22:00.008+01:00

I haven't learnt much else.. hah.

Janitor is the best! ^^

*update*
Those new kit kat senses are lovely!!

Today, I successfully customised a pair of shoes. I have no pictures currently because I'm lazy :P
I bought some felt ready to attempt to make brooches and things :)
& I still need to sew my lovely tattoo fabric onto my bag!
But I'm scared I will ruin it :(

I took some pictures today..nothing interesting though:

freaks in uniforms

2008-04-09T22:54:00.005+01:00

My beginners Japanese book and CD set arrived today! Already, I'm getting pretty lost though. The CD doesn't exactly coincide with the book but hopefully I'll pick it up. I guess as it's 11pm, I shouldn't really be worrying about it too much. I need to give it a go when my brain is more awake!

On Monday, I was introduced to two shops in Norwich that sell Asian goods...one thing being Pocky!! Of course, I bought some :) Strawberry, chocolate and milk flavours. Not as nice as the Pocky that Mika sent me, but still good stuff!
I am also totally addicted to pringles at the moment!! Not good. I had to hide them in the cupboard to stop me going at them every five minutes! Fattyyyyy!

I still haven't found ANY freelance work at all. I think the only way to get noticed these days is through myspace, but I'd really prefer to avoid that. I've signed up to a few sights and posted Ads on job websites, but nothing at all has come up :( Thing is, I'd started to get a feel for designing again but it's kind of disappearing quite quickly. I need some inspiration, and fast!
I definately need some work soon, that or another job. The lack of money is really getting me down, not only can I not afford to buy new clothes, I can't exactly afford to go anywhere or do anything either. I'd love to be able to just go out for dinner or to the cinema without having to worry about how I'm going to survive the rest of the week. As I say over and over, I know it's my own fault but it really does suck. I always said I would prefer to do freelance work, but where the hell do I get it?!
I need new shoes, jackets, jeans and bags dammit!!

Oohhh, also, I want one of these!!!

chase the sunset

2008-04-01T22:13:00.007+01:00

I have a new design blog up:

I got my new camera battery..this time it lasted 2 days! I don't think I got any good pictures, I literally had a play around with some settings, tried out a few things then it died. Great.
I've also managed to get rid of most of my wages without having a thing to show for it.
I've been looking for a new bag, but I can't find a thing. How can it be so difficult to find a decent sized, plain black bag?! I just want something simple that I can customise myself..but nothing, not even on ebay. Hmm. I've also been trying to decide on a learn Japanese book, but there are SO many, I don't know which to choose! These are the things I planned my money to go on this week...but it's gone nowhere, disappeared into thin air!
Clearly, I'm not in a great mood tonight...maybe it's almost time for bed.
No Matthew at work tomorrow either, so fun fun.

gloom

2008-03-27T23:07:00.008Z

I'm tired. I have work all day tomorrow. Today I went in for four hours, pretty much to dress a window. It kinda sucked though, Matthew was off and everyone seemed a little wierd. The fair is in town so it could be busy tomorrow...which reminds me, I still haven't got my battery- the fair could have been pretty good to take photos of!

I spent ages putting together a "design blog" last night (though I didn't finish it), then today I got an email telling me my account has been put on hold because it's seen as a potential spam blog! Great! :|

I ordered this:
It will finish off my Death Note nendoroid collection nicely! I wonder if they'll make more though? Maybe Rem and Near?

Hopefully, tomorrow I'll be able to send Mikas parcel of chocolate :) In the end, I bought her Yarmouth rock, flump, thorntons fudge and buttons, chomp, freddo, crunchie, toblerone, animal biscuits, chewits, milkyway and some other things. I personally think it'd be a pretty exciting package to open...if you like chocolate that is! Anyway, as I only get a half hour lunch break, I really hope there's not a ridiculously long queue at the post office!! Apparently it's always busy in there now :S
It'd be nice to put myself in a box and send it to Japan... lol.

I have nothing to do tomorrow night. I guess it doesn't matter in a way cuz I'll be tired...but it's being on my own that sucks. I have stuff I could sort out in my room, but who wants to do that on a saturday night?! Hmm.
I guess I should do some design work, maybe? But I need ideas!

Oooh, ages ago I was watching the IT crowd and noticed the little crow figure on Roys desk! I wanted it...but had NO idea where it was from or how to find out. Well, while searching for something Roman Dirge related or whatever it was, I completely randomly found the crow!
It's called "Drinky Crow" by Tony Millionaire and I want one!!!

and finally:

lmao!

okashiiii

2008-03-25T21:27:00.007Z

I got the camera I wanted! :D Eeee...only problem: the battery lasted for four days!

I've spent many hours trying to decide which battery to buy, I can't believe how much of a pain buying batteries can be!
Anyway, I've settled for some now, I just hope they work!

On a less stressful note, I got my parcel from Japan today! :D

Soooo much chocolate thanks to Mika!! :)
Now I need to get some stuff together to send to her...unfortunately I should've done my research first. Didn't realise how much it was going to cost to send! But nevermind, as long as she likes it.

Back to my camera. I haven't taken anything particularly great yet, but here goes-

my birthday meal dessert:
Muttley caught mid-spin(lmao): 'Great' Yarmouth:

I had loads I was going to write, but I've forgotten..hmm.
Bye.

two three

2008-03-19T21:49:00.005Z

It's my birthday tomorrow. I'm starting to think the only way I can get anyone to do anything is to say "hey let's get drunk!!"
I had high hopes this year, thinking maybe I could get my closest friends together for a meal somewhere but the numbers are dwindling...it's starting to feel like last year.
The plan then was to go to the zoo until the person who was supposed to be driving us there decided he couldn't be bothered...so instead it turned into a day (in the rain) down Yarmouth seafront. Don't get me wrong, it didn't suck but I wanted to go the zoo!!
Well, I guess I'll find out tomorrow. Oooh a secret surprise trip to the zoo! Haha, probably not.

Meh meh meh, happy birthday to me, I'm getting old...

fairy fay

2008-03-12T21:18:00.008Z

I actually don't feel like sitting here and rambling on, I'm pretty sleepy and in a funny mood.

But I guess I should at least give this a quick update... What's with these blog spam comments recently?! I've had two so far, and I didn't even know they existed! Hmm.

I've been pretty good and not ordered myself any crap online. Somehow I still seem to be getting through my wages in no time...and soon I've got to fork out £60 for the beginners Japanese course.
I just hope it's worth it or I'll be gutted!

That'll do for now, I can't really be bothered.

*update*

Seems pointless to add a whole new blog when this one is so pathetic..
I got another bloody spam comment, on this blog! Haha..how ridiculous.

I found an unfinished vector, I think I'd started it about a year ago.
I've been working on it some more but I can't seem to get it to look done!
I've also got to work on a 70's themed wedding invitation, plus finish off the other bloody girl pic.
Hmm...the invitation shouldn't be too difficult but that other one is a complete pain!!

Junko Mizuno:

Good stuff, would be nice to try take some influence from her work.
It could possibly work with the 70's theme?

Oh..my name is Japanese apparently: ローラ

L's outing

2008-02-29T19:46:00.009Z

the night the earth moved

2008-02-28T18:05:00.002Z

Well, first of all..oh my god! We had an earthquake Tuesday night/Wednesday morning! (Just before 1am Wednesday to be exact.) Although most people didn't actually feel it and it didn't do a great deal of damage, it was still damn scary! The worst one the UK has had in over 20 years...so the only one I've felt in my life time. All I remember is being in bed and feeling myself move as I woke up! At first I thought my house was collapsing and leapt out of bed, then told myself I must've jolted in my sleep and woke myself, so got back into bed. I then heard my sister run down the stairs to my mum and thought I heard her shout "earthquake?!" Again, I tried to pass it off as a dream and attempted to go back to sleep. 2 hours later I get a text saying "did you feel the earthquake?!!" ...having it confirmed that there really was an earthquake, being the chronic worrier that I am, I couldn't sleep after that!

What freaked me out more, was the fact that I'd only been talking about earthquakes a few days before hand. It's not exactly a regular conversation topic for me so....I'm scared, I think I made it happen! Haha.

Why does Roman Dirges art work have to be so expensive?! I adore his work and want something so badly...but I can't afford it at all. I emailed him asking if he had anything cheaper for a poor fan, but he didn't get back to me :(

work in progress

2008-02-26T00:37:00.002Z

new layout!

2008-02-24T17:30:00.011Z

I managed to do it all by myself! lol.
...with a little cheating involved.

I've finally got some batteries for my camera so hope to get some nice pics soon.
I need some inspiration though!

It's my birthday in less than a month and there's so many things I'd like!
Really, I need new clothes but I keep finding cute little things online that I love!

Solar powered manekineko:
New momiji dolls:

Cactus cat!:

TokiDoki journal:

Loungefly skull necklace:

Wowowowow! So many lovely things!
Then of course there's Fruits books, Scrubs boxset, bags, shoes, makeup, Roman Dirge stuff. Haha.
...but who says I'm getting anything I suppose?! ;)
x

Death Note

2008-02-22T18:41:00.006Z

Amazing :)

Laurasaurus.

2008-02-21T20:23:00.005Z

Well, I think it'd be nice to use this site as some kind of portfolio for pictures and graphics but at the moment I have nothing to show. I've done very little art for a while because I've completely lost the knack for it. I've been sketching and attempting to design tattoos but none of it is at a stage where I'm completely pleased with it. As for photography, I need to sort out some decent batteries for my camera! Pathetic excuse really.
I'd really love a Digital SLR but obviously money's a bit tight. I can barely afford new clothes nevermind a camera, and obviously I know there's more important things my money should be spent on at the moment.
Clearly I need a new job, something with more hours! But with me being so prone to mood changes and general feeling like crap sometimes, I don't think working somewhere boring just for the sake of making money is going to do me alot of good. Unfortunately no one else seems to see my point, so I'm getting it hammered into me that I need a full time job. I realise it's about time I did, but I don't know what to do! Something design related would be ideal but I just have no clue where to begin looking.
I'm hoping to learn to speak Japanese soon. It's alot of money for something I may not be clever enough to do though! Japan and it's culture amazes me and I hope learning something so unique and interesting could give me a bit of a boost. I won't know until I try though so I have to give it a go atleast!
I'm completely obsessed with Death Note right now! I've seen the first movie and it was amazing but I don't want to watch the second one until I've finished the anime...although from what I understand, I don't think they end the same anyway! I'm also wizzing through the mangas but as I only have up until volume 7, I think maybe I should slow down, haha! ...or hope I get the rest for my up and coming birthday!
Speaking of my birthday, it's in less than a month and no one has asked what I want? Maybe I'm not getting anything?! Haha. Or maybe everybody just already knows what to get me. A camera would be lovely but I know that's just much too expensive. However, I'd be perfectly happy with some new clothes, shoes and books. That would be lovely!
This is probably be one of the longest blogs I've written so I'll leave it at this for now...

bye.

Untitled

2008-01-25T19:07:00.001Z

Hello, I haven't posted anything foreverrrrr cuz I can't get this damn thing to look good.
Oh well.

Someone needs to be lovely and buy this for me please...

Only £100 or so.
Thanks! x

Also, one of these would be a nice present too! :P

you came in with the breeze on sunday morning

2007-08-02T15:04:00.001+01:00

How much must I curse your name?

2007-07-17T22:15:00.000+01:00

Decaying Waste

2007-06-17T00:08:00.001+01:00

if words are lethal weapons you've run out of ammo
its the same old fucking same old
you need to calibrate to a new debate
the era of the police state
take a stand against the man
force fed lies down through your throat
until you choke on those words that you greedily spoke
a generation of blinded men
following every trend
their ignorance is beyond my own comprehension
the pressure wont stop chaotic tension
what are you living for if you cant speak your mind
don't be the one left behind
the decaying waste of mankind
two eyes you're still fucking blind
GET FUCKED
use your voice you have the choice
neutral will be the first to die, asking why
corrupt leaders of the masses
separating them into classes
rich or poor we all want more
if talk is cheap then the voiceless are cheap whores
sacrifice!
refuse to use all force-fed lies
once a mindless slave
but buried fear into the grave
reload your words
don't follow the herd
a call to action we will be heard
a rock through every fuckers window
I rise like a crescendo
apathy has a placebo affect
I'll disconnect your head from your neck
you don't use it you fucking piece of shit
you make me fucking sick!

you wore out your welcome

2007-05-27T12:16:00.002+01:00

..like you wore me down to the bone.

Bored out of my mind! Sitting around waiting for something to happen. That's the story of my life it seems. It's my own fault though. I guess I need to get off my arse and find myself a new job. Preferably something graphics/illustration related but at the moment, who knows.
I've already had two cups of tea but I may just make myself another. Exciting stuff! Yawn. I wish I'd stayed in bed a bit longer now, I could hardly be bothered to move but I guess there's not much else that can be done once Muttley's barged his way through my bedroom door and leapt on to my bed. Silly Dog.

this sinking feeling never dies

2007-05-15T22:22:00.001+01:00

I'll chase my sunset laced with pride in this heartless galleon, although I'd rather fill my lungs and rapidly descend and lay with my thoughts under bleak starlight. I'll keep on pushing through perpetual darkness then in hell I'll seek my confidence.

Hull Metalfest

2007-05-14T15:37:00.001+01:00

This time last week, I was standing around waiting for the best bands to start at Hull Metalfest. What a day! It had to be one of the best things I've done in months! Despite the 7 hour round car journey and my hate of travel, I wish I could do stuff like that much more often. Back to reality though, and the fact that barely any pictures have emerged makes it almost feel like it didn't happen. I managed to get an incredibly bad quality video of Eternal Lord and another two videos have finally appeared on youtube -

if I ruled the earth, I'd sail ships over seas until sundown

2006-10-19T23:36:00.000+01:00

then I'd return, in dark to walk these streets alone

this is not my ideal way to spend an evening..

2006-10-12T00:05:00.000+01:00

shacked up telling ghost stories to the martyr

I fall in love too easily

2006-09-25T03:24:00.001+01:00

..this is leading to a high death toll and me walking lonely roads with no one to talk to. Maybe one day I'll figure me out

I'm charming

2006-09-12T12:21:00.000+01:00

I think I have too much free time on my hands...

poop

2006-09-12T11:03:00.000+01:00

Poop mouth x

I love carpet, I love desk, I love lamp

2006-08-23T23:26:00.000+01:00

Two movies that made my week :)

"Don't be fooled because she may seem like your typical selfish, back-stabbing slut faced ho-bag, but in reality, she's so much more than that."

_____________________________________

Brick Tamland: Excuse me, Veronica?
Veronica Corningstone: Yes? What is it, Brick?
Brick Tamland: I would like to extend to you an invitation to the pants party.
Veronica Corningstone: Excuse me?
Brick Tamland: [struggling] The... party. With the... with the pants. Party with pants?
Veronica Corningstone: Brick, are you saying that there's a party in your pants and that I'm invited?
Brick Tamland: That's it.

regurgitated lullaby pt.two

2006-08-20T19:21:00.001+01:00

I bought the other shoes

Fuck the memories.
We’re dead at every turn.
So spin your fucking shit
and we’ll die with every twist of tongue.

regurgitated lullaby

2006-08-16T21:10:00.000+01:00

I bought more shoes :(
I almost bought two pairs
I still want the others ones too though

I like shoes!!

I can't stop listening to
I Killed The Prom Queen - Your Shirt Would Look Better With A Columbian Neck Tie.

Yesterday was good. I'm easily amused when I've got the right company, so simple things can make for a great day. I ate too much and fell asleep too early, but I was still happy for the most part. Today wasn't bad either except for the bit where everyone went their seperate ways. I then had the joy of walking home, boiling hot and sitting here writing my CV because I think it's about time I thought about looking for a job.
Not that I actually want to.

I want one of these!

I would call him Garlic.

I've been designing my tattoo. If it all goes to plan it's going to be beautiful.

It's all so fucking yesterday

2006-08-07T15:06:00.001+01:00

My sleep pattern is a mess, I don't think I've got up before 12 for weeks, other than for work on Saturdays. I think I either need to start setting an alarm and making myself get up, or just hurry up and get a job so I have no choice but to drag myself out of bed.
I'm so bored! It's 3pm, I've only been up for about two hours and I don't know if there's any point in carrying on getting ready because at this rate I won't be going anywhere today. I've had the offer to go to Ipswich, but I dunno if I'm up for the mission and the mood I'm in right now, I don't think I'd be a lot of fun either. Why do people always manage to kick you when you're down? I actually feel like I've been hit in the stomach. Bleh! Sitting at home is shit. Maybe I should just go to Ipswich?!

Artists Rendering Of Me - Poison The Well

With all my said unsaids
I could never swallow the idea of a happy ending
As another days memory dies
As I'm made to smile
These lifeless days have left me with an empty heart
Another wounded memory dies
I could never swallow your false ideals of a lifeless happy ending
How could words slit wrists and doors close
Present day heart felt moments killed by a slap to the hand
Another wounded memory dies
Poisonous screams with messages not thought of when released
Another day here
Another memory dies

in response to stars

2006-08-04T16:02:00.000+01:00

Our doggy died today :(
R.I.P Rimmer xx

chug chug

2006-08-03T22:25:00.000+01:00

haha!
I'm too bored today.x

string me another line as your knife severs my spine

2006-08-02T03:43:00.000+01:00

It's my first night home alone in days and I can't say I'm enjoying it, despite the slice of cheesecake and unlimited cups of tea. I quite liked hanging out with Jam and Dan, and the endless games of Super Mario and Mario Kart, however bad I am at them.

It's also a shame that I had to leave my SNES at Jams, cuz I could quite go for a game right now...saying that I'd probably get annoyed at how much I suck and quit after about five minutes!

Sunday was pretty random. Me and Line met up with Alix in town for another Yarko tourist day. The foreign market was full of loud french people and oversized horse sausages! Then there was the massive slush puppies, also known as liquid aids.
I managed to spend a huge chunk of my wages on a single t-shirt then wasted another £8 on a rather large t-rex! Admittedly, it was pretty funny messing around with him..who Liam has named Donk.. and taking pictures.

Maybe it's about time I stopped wasting my money on crap and started saving for important things like driving lessons and rent?! I dunno. How else am I gonna keep myself happy these days? x